Relationship Minute: Explore Your Inner Worlds

Attunement in adult relationships is the desire and ability to understand and respect your partner’s inner world.

Attunement builds (and can rebuild) trust. Consider ATTUNE as an acronym:

Awareness
Turning toward
Tolerance
Understanding
Non-defensive listening
Empathy

How can you practice attunement to build a greater understanding and respect for your partner’s inner world? Every individual is a complex and unique galaxy unto themselves. You could know someone a lifetime and only be attuned to one small piece of their inner world.

What do you assume you know about your partner that you might be wrong about? What deserves more exploration? What does your partner assume about you that might need clarification?

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. Visit their website.

Relationship Minute: How To Build Trust

Trust is one of the weight-bearing walls of the Sound Relationship House. Without it, your relationship is weakened. How you and your partner attune to one another determines how strong this pillar is.

Grand gestures are nice, but when it comes to trust, it’s the “small things often” that matter. If both partners build habits of turning towards each other in simple everyday moments, they build trust.

Here are a few ways to do this from Dr. John Gottman’s “The Relationship Cure.” 

  • Cooking for your partner 
  • Taking care of them when they’re ill 
  • Listening to them 
  • Doing something kind for your partner’s friends or family 
  • Run errands for your partner 

What are the little things that your partner does for you that help you trust them more? Let them know!

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute.Visit their website.

Relationship Minute: The Gift of Trust & Commitment

As you implement all the levels of the Sound Relationship House, remember that together, trust and commitment support the structure. They are the weight-bearing walls that keep your relationship from falling apart. Although they seem like a no-brainer, Dr. John Gottman found them essential for guarding against the storms of life.

How much you trust each other and how committed you both are to your relationship makes all the difference. Your faith in one another is not only built from responding to bids and learning your Love Maps, but it strengthens your ability to stay together. The more you act on your trust and commitment, the more it will secure your relationship and give you space to keep doing the work of staying in love.

Give your relationship the gift it really needs this season. You’ll find trust and commitment go together to uphold the tenets of your partnership and give you both the shelter and security that will keep you warm all year long.

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Shelter in each other

Based on decades of research, the Gottmans developed the Sound Relationship House Theory—seven “levels” or areas of focus couples nurture to create lasting love. With a strong structure, built on the foundations of trust and commitment, you will also find shelter.

Does the house of your relationship feel like a safe haven? Can you rely on each other and look to each other for reassurance, strength, and comfort?

Building a strong relationship is hard work, and it takes dedication, but continually reinforcing the structure by making repairs, turning towards bids, and showing loving kindness creates a shelter from stormier days.

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.