Relationship Minute: “3 Things I Love About You”

Make a list of three things you truly admire about your partner.

The list might include qualities they’ve had for as long as you’ve known them (such as being a great listener or how they make you laugh), something they display in small moments (such as how well they sing or remember special occasions), or something they did in the last 24 hours (such as doing the dishes last night or making you coffee in this morning).

Does your partner do anything that inspires you or makes you go “Whoa! You’re amazing”?

Then, make a list and share it with them.

If you want to go the extra mile, make a new list every day for a week and leave it in notes around the home. See how it influences your relationship.

Related Blog Posts:

The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. Visit their website.

Relationship Minute: Did You Just Miss a Bid?

In “What Makes Love Last,” Dr. John Gottman states, “In a committed relationship, partners constantly ask each other in words and deeds for support and understanding.” That gesture is called a bid, and it signals that your partner needs to connect with you.

But what does a bid look like in everyday life?

Your partner can reach out in any number of ways, both verbal and nonverbal. The spoken bids are easier to recognize. They may sound like:

“Look at this funny video.”

“Honey, what’s on your mind?”

Nonverbal bids are trickier, but Dr. Gottman breaks them down to include: 

  • Affection (a kiss, hug, or shoulder rub) 
  • Facial expressions (a smile or glance) 
  • Playful touching (a light tickling or gentle bump) 
  • Affiliating gestures (opening a door or handing something over) 
  • Vocalizing (laughing, sighing, groaning, etc.) 

Be on the lookout for any variation of these examples. Your partner may be trying to get your attention.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: The Power of Being Polite

When you’ve been together a long time, being polite is likely the last thing you think about when you speak to each other. After all, isn’t one of the joys of being in a relationship that you can relax and be comfortable with your partner? No need to be so stuffy about manners, right? Think about it again.

Politeness is a way we show respect to people. It helps our intentions sound pleasant and considerate to another person. So, along that thinking, manners can look a lot like love.

Do you remember to say thank you to your partner when they do something? Even if it’s something they always do or are expected to do like paying a bill on time, show your appreciation by saying thanks. Add “please” when you ask for things. You can also show your partner that you see them when you greet them as they come home or when they’ve been in another room for a long time. It’s a simple gesture that says, “I notice when you’re not around, and I like it when you are.”

So, mind your manners. A little “please” and “thank you” goes a long way to show the one you love how much you care.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Changing Goals into Habits

Most new year’s resolutions fail because good intentions must be backed up with daily focused habits. If your goal is to have a better relationship in 2021, it starts with the seemingly ordinary actions towards your partner that you do every day.

Think simple. Make a habit of sending each other love notes via text when you’re apart. Clean after dinner, especially if your partner was the one who cooked. Always make sure your grocery list includes that one tiny indulgence that they love. And if you’re not sure, commit to routinely asking your partner, “What can I do for you today?”

Dr. John Gottman says, “Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.” Every day you can do a little and make a big difference in your partnership.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.