Relationship Minute: Take time to check in

Here are suggestions of four questions to check in with yourself: 

  • How can I give myself permission to accept joy in moments of sorrow? 
  • What are ways I can cultivate stillness into my daily life? 
  • Have I been moving the negative energy out of my body? How can I tend to my vessel? 
  • How can I honor my anger? 

Self-care is important, especially in times of collective overwhelm. If you aren’t tending to your own experience with awareness, it’s harder to connect with and love others.

What does self-care look like for you? It doesn’t have to be a bubble bath or a mud mask, as nice as those may be.

How can you create time for yourself to take stock? If you are undertaking the work of confronting your own biases, how can you do that with self-compassion?

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 

Relationship Minute: Self-care and self-soothing

Self-care and self-soothing are both important skills to nurture.

Self-soothing is what you do to calm down and reset when you’re upset.

Self-soothing looks like:

  • Taking a 20-minute break from a conflict conversation
  • Breathing mindfully to reduce physiological overwhelm
  • Noticing tension in your body and releasing it

Self-care is what you do preventatively, to keep from getting upset.

Self-care looks like: 

  • Taking regular time to recharge
  • Spending time with people who lift you up and give you energy
  • Doing activities that you enjoy and find restorative

If you don’t take care of yourself, you risk operating with a shorter fuse when conflict arises. The more self-care you do, the less you will need to employ self-soothing.

Related blog posts

The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 27 February 2020. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.