A foundationally secure partnership is like a house. It has weight-bearing walls and levels that each person builds upon to create a sturdy bond. With a strong structure, built on the foundations of trust and commitment, you will also find shelter.
Does the house of your relationship feel like a safe haven? Can you rely on each other and look to each other for reassurance, strength, and comfort?
Building a strong relationship is hard work, and it takes dedication, but continually reinforcing the structure by making repairs, turning towards bids, and showing loving kindness creates a shelter from stormier days.
Related Blog Posts:
The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. Visit their website.
The Sound Relationship House is our theory for healthy relationships. It has seven levels and two walls.
The foundation of the house is a strong friendship between partners. The middle levels have to do with how couples manage conflict, which is inevitable in relationships. The top level is about creating shared meaning and the supporting walls are trust and commitment.
In her song The Bones, Maren Morris sings:
When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good
If the “bones” are the levels of the Sound Relationship House, then ask yourself: Which bones are good and which need some attention?
Related blog posts
The Relationship Minute from The Gottman Institute, dated 5 March 2020. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.