When arguing with your partner, do you have a signature move? Is there something you do or say often in conflict?
Perhaps, you find yourself making critical statements like: “You never listen to me” or “You always get your way.” Maybe, when you’re really upset, you resort to name-calling and mocking. Or, as soon as things get heated, you shut down completely and the silent treatment goes into effect.
Every couple fights, but not every couple knows how to fight in a healthy way. In the heat of the moment, you may be prone to rely on old communication habits, no matter how unhelpful they are.
Take time today to think about your conflict style. Ask your partner what you commonly do or say in an argument? They know the impact of your words and actions in conflict and have a unique perspective. For example, while you may think you’re pointing out objective facts, your partner feels attacked.
When you know how you fight, you can make the necessary changes and learn how to fight better.
Related Blog Posts:
- 4 Conflict Styles that Hurt Your Relationship
- The Negativity Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later
- The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. Visit their website.