As you may already know, “creating a culture of fondness and admiration” is the antidote to contempt, the most destructive of Gottman’s Four Horsemen. But it’s not like you can just flip the switch and suddenly have a relationship full of sunshine and flowers.
Change happens slowly over time – appreciation needs to be grown and nurtured. The way out of contempt is a path; one that leads toward fondness and admiration.
Start with a seed. Catch your partner doing something right today. Simply noting something you appreciate about them, even if it’s something that seems small, creates the rich soil for genuine warmth to take root.
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