I can’t believe you did that!
You’re such a bad driver. Why can’t you drive more like I do?
You need help.
Have you said something similar to your partner lately?
Contempt is a tricky thing. It may seem like the expression of genuine feeling, but it’s actually an expression of negative judgment that places you in opposition to your partner.
Next time you find yourself taking a contemptuous approach, stop and take a breath. Remember the fondness and admiration you hold for your partner. Try to express yourself with feelings and needs that can unite you, rather than judgments that can divide.
Related Blog Posts:
- How To Change Your Own Contempt
- The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
- C is for Contempt and Criticism
The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. Visit their website.