Relationship Minute: Getting friendly

When you think about your closest friends, what comes to mind? Is it their best qualities and what you like about them? Or maybe you can think of some of their shortcomings, but you accept those as part of who they are—a loveable, imperfect person.

Do you hold the same regard for your partner? Or are they put through the lens of additional scrutiny, irritation, or judgment?

Imagine going out to a restaurant (pre-pandemic). As you look from table to table, it might be easy to guess which table is seated with close friends, which one hosts a first or second date, and who’s in a romantic relationship based on how engaged they are with each other. Sadly, you might guess that the couple spending most of their time on their phones has been together the longest.

One of the simple secrets to lasting love is feeding the flames of friendship. The sexy sizzle of romance ebbs and flows, but it’s the underpinning of friendship and positive regard that makes a relationship truly great.

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The Relationship Minute is from The Gottman Institute. You can sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning.