Relationship Minute: Appreciation

Contempt is the most toxic of the Four Horsemen, and perhaps the most insidious. It creeps in over time until one day, you find yourself consistently viewing your partner as inferior. Negative Sentiment Override is a mindset, which makes it challenging to overcome. But it can be done.

The antidote to contempt is to build a culture of appreciation. Replace contemptuous thoughts with positive regard.

Contempt:
“Look at them over there, speaking too loudly. They’re so embarrassing.”

Appreciation:
“Look at them over there, telling such an animated story. I love to see my partner having so much fun!”

The way your partner interacts with and views the world is probably different from your approach, but that doesn’t make it less valid. Differences aren’t bad—they add flavor, create necessary friction, and challenge you.

What differences can you appreciate? How can you view your partner in a more positive light?

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